Given the Chance

Have you ever had a dream, a goal, something you've prayed for since you were a very small child? I have. I thought I was so close to achieving my goal. And in days I find it torn out of my hands. And there is nothing I can or could have done to change that. Because of who I am, not because of what I do, my dream is out of my reach. I have spent days, weeks even, hurting about my lot. I took it like a stake to the heart and have let it fester, only talking to my best friend about it. And it's become infected and I hold it in longer and longer. This dream has consumed me, it has been my driving force for so long that now that it's out of my reach I don't know what to do with myself. I feel lost and alone and hurt. I feel like no one truly understands what all this means to me. I don't fear the rejection. I fear never being able to share my joy with the world like I always imagined I would be able to. The worst part about it is that I know that I can do it. The higher players for some reason just don't see it. They overlook me and I don't know how to explain to them what they're missing. My theme for the month has been "It's not fair." Well, it's not. But then I turn to Christ.

Here I am complaining about everything I don't have and then I realized what's missing. Maybe I have been given this trial to teach me a lesson. Not everything we want, even those things most important to us, are things that we need. It makes me a stronger better person. As much as it hurts, as much as it kills me, it may be the one thing I have to sacrifice to become more like my Savior.